They say that good things come to those who wait, but do we all have the capacity to be patient? Are we born with this ability or can we learn it as we grow and develop?
Delayed gratification is one's ability to resist the temptation of an immediate reward and hold off for a better reward later. This form of extrinsic motivation never invokes the same reaction in everyone. As shown in the marshmallow study conducted by Dr. Walter Mischel, a group of children ages 4-6 who were given a marshmallow and were told they would be given two as a reward if they waited 15 minutes without eating the first one. Only 1/3 of the kids were able to wait. Those included in that 30% had a large amount of self-discipline. They were able to control their subconscious desire to take what they want immediately because they saw the future reward as worth the wait. You may be thinking that you would be able to pass this challenge and wait the 15 minutes, but to a young child with no concept of time who is left alone with a delicious treat for what feels like an eternity, the challenge is harder than you might think. However, I tried this experiment with my 7 year old sister and almost 4 year old brother using a spoonful of pink frosting (which they love more than marshmallows), and they were both able to wait the entire 15 minutes.
Why don't we put this scenario into a more adult perspective? Let's say that your boss made you an offer of either a $100 bonus up front, or an extra $1000 if you work overtime every day for the next month. Which would you choose? Would you be able to stick to your guns for an entire month for that extra $1000? It all depends on your personal level of self-discipline. The debate of nature vs. nurture tends to come into play here. Some believe that your ability to delay gratification is an innate quality you are born with. Others believe that it is taught by your parents. I happen to think it is a mixture of both. I am sure that some kids are naturally born with more patience than others, but everyone can learn to be more self-disciplined. Parents can tell their children that they don't get any cookies until after they eat their dinner. A statement as simple as that is teaching the kids to delay their gratification; this is a skill that some psychologists believe to be the key to success.
Something that is worth the wait that many people can relate to is receiving your driver's license. We wait at least 16 years and then have to study, take multiple tests, and pay up for that little piece of plastic with our picture on it, but all that time and effort becomes worth it when you feel the freedom of taking your first drive on your own. This experience is viewed as a right of passage for American teenagers transitioning into the responsibility of adulthood. Despite this idea and those like it, other countries tend to perceive Americans as lacking patience. It is true that today we live in a world of instant gratification. If we want to talk to someone we can call them on our cell phones and contact them within seconds. If there is information we want to know, our smartphones have Internet connections where we can find answers to our questions almost immediately. We have constant access to technology waiting to deliver us whatever we need. It is understandable how citizens of other countries could view us as spoiled and unable to wait, and maybe they are right. The truth is that we as a country have done this to ourselves. We keep creating more and more unnecessary gadgets that are meant to make our lives easier, and we become dependent on them to function. It is not my intention to preach about how terrible technology is. I have an iPhone and a tablet (which I'm using to write this blog). I simply believe that we are more focused on these things than on learning to be self-sufficient. Technology is only going to become more advanced as time goes on, and that is why we need to put more emphasis on teaching the next generations about delayed gratification and self-discipline to prevent our great-grandchildren from becoming mindless zombies who couldn't survive without their devices.
We all need to remember that patience is still a virtue even in this fast-paced world we live in because as science writer John Tierney, the co-author of the book Willpower, explains, "In the short term, self-control is a limited resource. But over the long term, it can act more like a muscle." Our society has to start exercising our self-control muscles and realize that gratification tastes much sweeter when we've waited for it.
We all need to remember that patience is still a virtue even in this fast-paced world we live in because as science writer John Tierney, the co-author of the book Willpower, explains, "In the short term, self-control is a limited resource. But over the long term, it can act more like a muscle." Our society has to start exercising our self-control muscles and realize that gratification tastes much sweeter when we've waited for it.
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